Love Mercy

Love mercy.

Don't ignore the nudging of God's Spirit,
His voice in your ear,
His shout from life's street corners,
to love mercy,
lavish mercy.

Pour out mercy
with kind generosity,
with humility,
without conditions,
without disdain,
and not because it's deserved,
it's commanded,
demanded,
or a required task,
a duty.

Bless with mercy,
be extravagant,
without reserve,
without hesitation.

Don't wait for a request.
Don't wait for a word of repentance,
contrition or desperation.

Be the one to take the first step.
Leap forward, anticipate.
In tenderness release mercy
and as mercy is given,
forgive.

If it's a part of what you know needs to be done,
if you have been wronged
offended,
betrayed,
if anger rules you,
find its festering root and forgive.

You must,
for your own sake,
forgive.
Yes, you must!
Do it and let that be the end.

God will enable you.
Ask Him. He will help you.
He did it before you and for you.

Unforgiveness is a poison,
eating its host
from the inside out.
Mercy and forgiveness
a balm,
an antidote,
a refreshing.

Live in God's power
and any and every moment,
when His Spirit whispers,
"Give mercy",
and perhaps also,
"Forgive",
don't hesitate,
plunge in.

Copyright June 2013 Joy Chastagner

Heavy Stone

My heavenly father,
Papa,
Lord Jesus,
forgive me.
I have wounded you
with my impoverished view
of self dependency,
of self sufficiency,
of my chin in the air,
fists clenched,
determination to survive
with my
'just in case'
you don't come through plan.

There it is.  I've said it.
Sad small, small words,
small, silly plan.

In your love for me,
you withheld nothing,
not even your life.

Here I am,
my heart
so captivated
by you,
so hopeful,
so full and satisfied,
and so sadly,
flawed,
divided,
frightened
as the eleventh hour passes,
and the quiet grows
and I still wait
for my miracle,
my answers to expressed need.

My mind is tumultous with questions,
'Will he, will you, Lord  come through for me?'
My heart doubts your goodness,
it doubts despite the evidence of it,
it doubts perhaps because I have 'why?' questions
with no answer.

This unbelief,
my unbelief
is a heavy stone.

Forgive me Lord.
You, whom I so dearly love,
forgive me
this ugly wound,
this unbelief,
my unbelief,
my ridiculous survival plans.

I choose you,
renew me again,
be my strength.
I rest in you,
trust in you,
and wait.

Copyright Joy Chastagner Februrary 2013

Bread

The great fullness
of a yellow moon
hangs low
againt the opaque,
blackness of night.

Quiet clouds
stretched thin,
lazy as they pass
through the light.

The warmth
of your presence
wraps
as a warm cloak
about me.
Winter's bite
stings my cheeks.
My breath lingers
visible in the cold
before me.

My Lord,
Your words
fill my thoughts,
they permeate,
transform,
they give life.
They are bread to me.
They sustain me.

You sustain me.

Copyright Joy Chastagner January 2013

Day's End

We stood in front
of an open window.
"I have a gift", he said.
I smiled.

All was damp from evening rain.
I felt the quiet as it reached for me,
soothing,
holding.

I stood
without moving,
breathing slowly,
deeply.
I could smell winter,
feel her approach,
the air so cool,
fresh.

My eyes closed,
all thoughts silent.
This quiet at day's end
His gift,
His renewing,
my rest.

My Jesus,
my Lord,
here,
so near,
this quiet,
blessed.

Copyright Joy Chastagner October 2012

Unspoken

Sun lit particles glimmer,
drifting,
floating on
cool stream waters.

Leaf song reaches me.
Its tender melody
the voice of my soul's Lover.
The cool breeze His refreshing,
the warm sun
His strength upholding.

I am still.
In this present moment
there is only He and me
and this unspoken language,
in which He so profoundly
inexplicably
articulates
and satisfies.

Copyright Joy Chastagner June 2012

Beacon

Do you see, here, my feeble flame?
My efforts wane without your
igniting, sustaining presence.

You are always present,
yet there are moments
when I look away
as though you are not.

What colossal,
nonsensical,
stupidity.

Now,
here I am,
again.

I have returned to this place
I must visit on my knees,
this place where I remember
I cannot without you,
I simply cannot.

What foolishness is this?
I seek to live in my own strength,
my own wisdom,
rather than drawing from
your lavishly given,
endless resources.

I work so hard to achieve,
so furiously to reach goals
my fingers never quite touch,
until dissonance confronts me,
and brings me to my knees,
here, near to you,
again.

Listen to what is deeper,
beyond these long sighs,
hear my soul wanting.

I can only offer what I am.
You know me well.
I am still yours.
Your path is my path,
your ways my ways.
These days past,
all this striving without you,
all this labored hurry,
I put it aside,
I am here with hands open.

You, my first love,
my best love.

Forgive this self-involved heart,
so ferociously independent,
determined to stand invincible
against any odds,
without need,
defying need,
ridiculous, prideful sufficiency.

This heart is not
always a lover's heart,
and its need is great.

Forgive me, Lord,
you are my Lord,
fill me,
consume me,
ignite me,
make me a raging fire,
a beacon to your intimate,
loving, awe inspiring presence,
a beacon to your freely given,
freedom giving
salvation.

Oh how you reach me!
You are good-

Come, now,
again,
set me aflame.

Copyright Joy Chastagner July 2010

Enough For Me

Sit here, now, awhile with me,
hold my hand.
Turn your gaze there,
to the white waters,
the rising waters.
Feel, taste the airborne spray.
Watch the wildness of the whipping green,
feel the slapping sting.
See the great clouds moving in,
they come for me.
These dark wet thunderings
will try to take from me,
who I am, what I will be,
but not today,
not while you are here,
holding my hand,
you are enough
to hold it all at bay.
You are always enough for me,
in every way,
for every need,
my very breath,
you are enough for me.

Copyright Joy Chastagner July 2010